


Five Times Jared Gets Jealous

by dandyline_wine



Series: Rascal Flatts Five Times [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-11
Updated: 2009-04-11
Packaged: 2020-11-01 14:04:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20816360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dandyline_wine/pseuds/dandyline_wine
Summary: Jared gets jealous of different stuff. Angst. The end.





	Five Times Jared Gets Jealous

**1\. Everyday ** _(or you’re the only one who gets me, yeah you get me)_

“Dude, Sam can be such a pansy.”

Jensen doesn’t even look up from his book, just says, “Oh yeah?” He quietly turns a page and Jared turns to look at him. They’re sitting in the Impala, waiting for the lighting guys to fix something with the … something. Jensen traces over a line with his thumbnail and Jared just watches him.

“Yeah. Like, what’s with all of the crying? We get it, man. You’re tortured. You’re emo. Just. You know. Grow a pair.”

Jensen smiles in response, eyes still down. “Dude, the hell? You love Sam.”

Jared feels restless and shuffles around in the car, leaning against the passenger door. “Well, yeah,” he says. “But Dean’s all macho guy. Sam cries and Dean gets to punch shit in the face. Why can’t Sam punch shit in the face?”

Jensen turns another page. “Sam punches shit in the face.”

Jared shrugs. “Not the way Dean does. Dean’s all ‘Grr, I’m punching you in the face.’ Sam’s all ‘Oh woe, I have to punch you in the face.’ It’s kind of lame.”

“Dean does not say ‘Grr’.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Not the point, Jen.” Jensen doesn’t respond but Jared knows he’s still listening. He has this weird way of listening to Jared no matter what’s going on or where they are or what he’s doing. It should creep him out how hyper-aware Jensen is of everything surrounding Jared but, you know. It doesn’t.

He waits for a few minutes before he starts talking again. “They should maybe do a body-swap episode, yeah? Sam could get some booty and Dean could like, go vegan or something.” He relaxes against the door, closes his eyes, and wonders how much longer the light thing will take to fix.

Jensen raises an eyebrow and says, “Booty, Jared? What is this, 1995?” He shifts in the driver seat, propping his book on his knees and stretching his back before continuing. “You know, it kind of sounds like you’re jealous.”

Jared opens one eye to look at Jensen, hunched over his book again. “Jealous?”

Jensen finally looks up and gives Jared an amused grin. “Jealous. Like, you kinda got a Dean Fan Club going on over there. I feel sort of bad for Sam.”

“Whatever.” Jared closes his eyes again and tries to get comfortable with a metal door as a makeshift pillow.

He hears a crew guy come over a few minutes later and tunes out his conversation with Jensen. He thinks of Sandy and what time he’s supposed to pick her up at the airport on Thursday night. He thinks of how he forgot to call her last night. He thinks of her ring and the wedding and the honeymoon and how excited his family was when they told them and how Chad laughed and how Jensen just blinked and clapped him on the back. And he just thinks.

When he opens his eyes, Jensen isn’t reading. He’s looking right at Jared, unblinking green eyes. He smiles. “Hey,” he whispers.

Jared shifts in his seat, trying to straighten up. “Hey,” he whispers back.

“They’re thinking we should be ready to start back up in ten minutes or so.” Jared nods in response. “And I was thinking. You wanna grab some pizza from Mario’s and then maybe hang out at my place or something? Looks like we’ll get out of here early tonight.”

“Your place, huh?” Jared raises his eyebrow. “I don’t put out on the first date,” he jokes.

Jensen reaches over and flicks Jared’s wrist, smiling. “Yeah, you did.”

Jared smiles back and says quietly, “Yeah. I did.” Jensen doesn’t move his hand, rubbing soft half-moons into the back of his hand. Jared doesn’t ask him to stop.

“So. Mario’s?” But before Jared can respond, the lights flare up and the crew all cheer.

Jared doesn’t give him an answer. Jensen doesn’t press him for one.

Jared thinks of Sandy.

After they wrap, he finds himself leaning up against the doorframe of Jensen’s trailer saying, “So? Mario’s right?”

Jensen beams at him, shrugging out of Dean’s jacket and into his own. “Right.” As they walk to the parking lot, Jensen looks over to Jared and says, “So. Top five reasons Dean is way more awesome than Sam. Ready go.”

Jared bumps him with his shoulder but can’t stop smiling.

*

**2\. Take Me There** _ (or I wanna go down every road you’ve been)_

L.A. is not Texas, which is why bars in L.A. that try to act all Texas always irritate Jared. He only ever has to go to these bars when Chris is in town, so that might be more of the problem, Jared supposes. It’s not that Jared doesn’t like Chris (because he mostly does) but it’s that Jared’s not a horribly patient person on a good day and when Chris is around, well. It’s not a good day.

He’s not even sure how Jensen convinced him to come down. Jared remembers him promising a hotel room with a king size bed, a bunch of feather pillows and a memory foam mattress and, hell. How is he supposed to turn that down – especially when Jensen was looking all perfect and naked on Jared’s couch, pretending to pout? He’s only fucking human, man.

So now, he gets to listen to Chris tell the same stories he’s heard a bajillion times and then make sure to laugh in the right places so he doesn’t look like a dick. He hears Chris start the one about getting locked in a Port-a-Potty with Jensen when he feels his phone vibrate. He excuses himself (thank God) and steps outside, feeling Jensen’s eyes follow him.

He looks down and sees Sandy’s name on the display. He thinks she might be upset for canceling on her this weekend but he knows she doesn’t hold grudges, either.

He stares at his phone.

He puts it back in his pocket. He can’t talk to her now. And he can’t go back inside.

So he just waits. He can hear Chris inside and he can hear Jensen laugh and Jared starts to count to ten. When he gets there, he just keeps going.

When he hits a hundred and seventeen, he goes back inside to see Chris with his arm around Jensen’s neck. He pulls Jensen close to him while he flirts with the three pretty brunettes leaning in close to hear another story. As Jared approaches, he hears Chris say, “Don’t you remember that, Jenny? That homeless guy in Toronto?” Jensen lets out a laugh and rests his head against Chris’ shoulder for a moment.

“Yeah, it was in front of that hotel we stayed at – that guy was fucking crazy.”

“That guy was fucking homeless,” Chris clarifies. He starts to tell his we-got-into-a-fight-with-a-homeless-guy story but Jared’s heard it a bajillion (and one) times now so he heads up to the bar, not even looking at Jensen on his way past.

He orders his beer and pinches the bridge of his nose when he feels Jensen come up next to him.

“Hey,” he says with a nudge of his shoulder to Jared’s.

Jared looks over and feels too tired to even fake a smile. “Hey yourself.” He watches Jensen bring a bottle to his lips, stares at the flush across his cheekbones, and wonders why the hell he’s even here. He feels so out of place. Jensen’s his co-star, his best friend, his … whatever. And he feels so fucking out of place.

Jensen notices. “What’s up, man?”

Jared shrugs. “Nothing. You?”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “No. I mean, what’s up? You seem tense.”

Jared shakes his head and frowns. “Nah, I’m good.”

“Jared.” Jared looks over and sees Jensen waiting for an answer, patient. Always so fucking patient with him.

Jared sighs, “I don’t know, man. It’s just. You guys have all of this history. Sometimes I just. Sometimes I wish I had that.”

Jensen lets out a small laugh. “History? You have that. You and Chad have like, your own language.”

Jared slams his beer down on the bar harder than he meant to and lets out another frustrated sigh. “That’s not what I fucking meant.”

Jensen’s eyes widen. “Okay,” he says, slowly. “Then how about you tell me what you meant?” So calm, always so fucking calm.

Jared already feels like a dick, just like he always does when Chris is in town. He lowers his voice and says, “I’m sorry. I just must be. Tired or something.” He doesn’t offer any further explanation and Jensen doesn’t press him for one.

He leans in close to Jared and says, “You wanna head back to the hotel?”

Jared swallows and nods. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Just gotta let Chris know we’re going.”

They walk over to give Chris a goodbye and all he does is tilt his head and give Jared a knowing look. When Jensen goes to grab their coats, Chris just stares at Jared. He’s still giving him that … look and he says, “I didn’t know we was fighting over him, son.”

Jared straightens his shoulders and gives him a confused look. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mutters.

Chris raises his arms, forfeiting a fight he didn’t even know had started and then claps him on the back as he walks away. “Sure you don’t, Jared.”

Jared lowers his eyes and doesn’t move until he feels Jensen’s hand on his back, steering him out of the bar.

They climb into their king-size bed with feather pillows and when Jensen reaches for him, Jared hopes he’s not taking any pieces of Jensen that he doesn’t want to give.

*

**3\. Winner At a Losing Game** _ (or I think that it’s time to tell this uphill fight goodbye)_

When Jared finds out that Jensen and Danneel split, Jensen tries to play it like a non-event.

“You what?” Jared asks. “You broke up? What the hell, man?”

Jensen nods, cool as can be and Jared genuinely thinks Jensen is unfazed. They’re sitting on set in a makeshift diner, knees bumping under the table of their booth, Jensen casually mentioning the break-up phone call he had three nights ago.

“Three nights ago? What the hell, man?” Jared asks again.

Jensen shrugs. “We just didn’t work out.”

Jared shakes his head. “No, dude. You only say things like ‘it didn’t work out’ if you were dating for like, a month. Not years. What the hell.”

Jensen shrugs again and he starts picking at his fingernails. He hasn’t met Jared’s eyes once. “It’s really not a big deal, Jared.”

Jared sighs, exasperated. “You broke up three days ago and you don’t tell me until we’re on set in between takes? Weak, Jen.”

Jensen doesn’t respond.

Jared slouches in his seat a little more and he bounces Jensen’s knees in between his own. “What’s going on with you?” he asks quietly.

Jensen’s eyes flicker closed and then he has then trained on his fingers again. “Nothing, Jay. It’s just. My heart wasn’t in it anymore is all.”

Jared freezes. Oh. Oh oh oh. He straightens up and Jensen’s knees fall back to center. Jensen still doesn’t look up.

“I’m, wow. I can’t break up with Sandy, Jen.” The words sound ugly and hurtful and jagged and Jared wants to take them back, even if they’re true.

Jensen slowly meets Jared’s eyes. “Okay. No one’s asking you to,” Jensen says.

“I just. I’m sorry, Jensen. I can’t.” Jared swallows and wonders why now. He wonders what next. He wonders and oh God what happens now?

Jensen offers up a weak smile. “This doesn’t have to do with you, Jared. Danneel and I, we just weren’t working.”

Jared tilts his head ands raises his eyebrow skeptically. “You didn’t break up with her for this?” He gestures between them and Jensen doesn’t meet his eyes. “For us?”

“Jared, calm down,” Jensen whispers and Jared realizes they’re on set. Jensen dumped all of this shit on him while they’re on set.

“I’m calm, Jen. It’s just, I love her. We’re getting married.”

“I get it,” Jensen hisses. “I didn’t ask anything of you, Jared. Stop.”

Jared stares at him for a minute and then leans back. “I just. I’m not like you, Jen. I wish I could be like you. I wish Sandy and I were like you and Danneel. I wish … I wish a lot of things. But I can’t do that to her, man. I can’t.”

Jensen shakes his head. “What part of ‘I get it’ are you not grasping? I’m not asking you for anything, least of all to break up with your fiancée. I’ve never asked you for anything and I’m not about to start. But this whole thing wasn’t working for me. I didn’t feel right about it, what I was doing to her.”

Jared’s eyes narrow. “Oh, so now I’m a bad person? I’m sorry I’m not the man you are, Jen. So fucking sorry.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, Jared. You’re getting worked up over nothing. I tell you I broke up with my girlfriend and you spaz out on me.” He rubs his hands over his eyes and leans back into his seat, sighing tiredly. “I’m sorry I said anything at all.”

Jared says nothing but stares at him, his chest pulling in different directions and hurting in too many variations. He leans forward and lowers his voice so that Jensen has to lean over the table to catch his words. “Jensen,” he breathes. “I don’t think I can do this.” He feels his stomach tighten and briefly wonders if he’s going to vomit and wouldn’t that just be professional? He forces his eyes to meet Jensen’s but they’re dry and scratchy, like they’re rebelling, like they’re against this whole fucking plan.

Jensen’s eyes crinkle in confusion and he asks, “Do what?”

Jared thinks maybe his throat starts to boycott the plan, too, but he chokes the words out. “This. Us. Maybe we should. You know. Stop.”

The look of surprise on Jensen’s face is the worst thing he’s ever seen, worse than the time he saw his brother’s ankle protruding from the skin or the time he walked in on Chad having sex with someone Jared hopes was of consenting age.

This. God. Jared clenches his hands into fists under the table to prevent himself from reaching across the booth. He just wants to touch touch touch, remind himself that Jensen is real.

Jensen draws back, trying to disappear as he sits back into the seat. “Oh,” he says, still looking so surprised. “Okay. That’s. Yeah, okay.”

“Jensen,” Jared tries to say. Or maybe he does say it, he can’t tell. Or maybe he’s not even here right now. Maybe he’s sleeping, maybe he’s high.

God, Jared thinks. Please let me be sleeping. Please let me be high.

And right fucking then, Kim’s ready for Sam and Dean and ready for them to bicker for the camera and all Jared can think is, oh God, I’m not sleeping.

After they’re finished the scene, Kim tells them to grab something from craft services and Jared squeezes his eyes closed, trying to get his head on straight – maybe he is high – and when he looks up, Jensen is gone.

He jumps out of the booth and off set. When he’s outside, he watches Jensen climb the steps to his trailer but Jared stands, frozen. He can’t tell if he’s shaking or if the rest of the world is moving.

He calls Sandy when he’s in his trailer later and he hates himself. Jensen has it so easy, he thinks. No responsibilities, no guilt. Jared tries to tell himself how ridiculous he sounds but he doesn’t care; he’s stupidly jealous of Jensen, of Jensen’s stupid broken heart, Jensen’s openness, Jensen’s honesty, Jensen’s whole life. Jensen’s stronger than Jared, he thinks. He’s bigger and better and smarter and Jared can’t compete with that.

He calls Sandy and tells her half truths. He tells her he loves her, he tells her about his day, he tells her Jensen says hi. He tells his whole life to her every time he talks to her, but only half. Sandy gets only half of his whole life and it’s just not fair.

Jensen did something about it. Jared won’t.

He calls Sandy and doesn’t say anything he should. He doesn’t tell her he’s been fucking his co-star for three years. He doesn’t tell her he’s stupidly in love with Jensen and that Jensen probably loves him back. He doesn’t tell her he’s too afraid to try and fix it.

Jensen was supposed to be the brave one and Jared doesn’t know what to do now.

*

**4\. How Strong Are You Now ** _(or a tough guy never cries)_

The first time Jared sees Jensen’s arm around a tiny brunette’s waist, Jared almost punches her in the face. She's just some extra and Jensen doesn’t mean anything by it but Jared almost goes apeshit.

Truth be told, Jared’s gone a little insane.

He watches Jensen on set, watches him in the make-up trailer, watches him grab some lunch. He watches him talk and laugh and read and walk and honestly? Jared’s gone a lot insane.

He stares at Jensen and it feels intrusive. It feels like he’s outside looking in for the first time and it hurts. Jared’s angry, he’s moody, he’s irritable, he’s so goddamn lonely that it aches. Not lonely in the ‘I just jerked off in the shower alone’ kind of way but in the ‘can’t breathe’ kind of way. He’s so used to sitting too close to Jensen, so close that they share inhales and exhales like they’re passing secrets back and forth. Jared almost forgets how to just breathe on his own.

Jeff comes to set one day and he and Jensen go somewhere to eat. Jared watches them leave and knows that Jensen’s not ignoring him, he just forgets to invite him.

Jensen’s quiet now. He’s introspective and reserved now. He’s shy and private.

Jensen’s always been those things, Jared thinks. Just not to him. Jared’s just Everyone Else now and the realization burns so deep that it’s almost blinding.

After two weeks, Jared goes to Jensen’s trailer to talk. Talk about what, he’s not sure. He tries to find words to make this whole thing less awkward, tries to think of something magic to let them go back to Before. When he walks into Jensen’s trailer without knocking and sees him playing Grand Theft with one of the crew guys, Jared takes it like a punch to the gut. He can’t think of anything other than, “We’re cool, right, Jen?” He can’t imagine what he looks like, standing in Jensen’s doorway almost doubled over.

But Jensen just smiles and says, “Yeah, we’re cool, Jay.” His eyes crinkle and Jared still can’t stand upright. The crew guy isn’t paying attention; he’s trying to keep his car on the road or to kill a hooker or something and he moves his game controller around wildly.

Jared takes a deep breath and says, “Friends, then?”

Jensen’s smile doesn’t waver. “Of course, man.”

Jared feels like things start falling back into place until he fucks it up three days later when he stops by the coffee store a few blocks down from his apartment on his day off. He sees Jensen outside, smoking a cigarette with one of the guys who works there, both of them leaning up against a wall. Jared walks up and punches the guy right in the cheekbone; Jensen hisses, “Friends, Jared,” as he helps the guy up. “You said friends.”

Jared just walks away, rubbing his fist and wondering why it doesn’t hurt like the rest of him does.

They’re all at a bar the next week and Jared eyes Jensen the entire night, watches the bartender give him her number. Watches him play pool with another crew guy. He obsesses over anyone that comes into contact with Jensen the entire night. Jared goes to the bathroom and when he comes back, Jensen’s gone. Jared’s eyes dart around, taking inventory, trying to figure out who he left with.

Mike throws another one of his parties and Jared gets trashed. He corners Jensen in one of the bathrooms but doesn’t know what to say. Jared stares at the top of his head, noticing the gold flecks in the fluorescent light until Jensen finally looks up and meets his gaze.

“Jay,” he says tiredly. “What do you want from me?”

“You,” Jared replies without thinking. “I just want you.” He doesn’t move.

Jensen’s eyes drop again. “You don’t.” He walks out and Jared doesn’t try and stop him.

He sees Jensen do some shots, play one of Mike’s coma-inducing drinking games, and make-out with one of the prop girls from the Smallville set. After that, Jared’s blacked out drunk and all he can remember is lying next to Mike on the living room floor while Tom tries to maneuver the pair of them onto the couches. Mike’s trying to sing some song and Jared says, “Christ, this is hard.” When his voice breaks, it sounds like dying. Even Mike’s quiet.

Tom says, “Then fix it.” Mike goes, “Stop being a blowhole, you tool.”

Jared closes his eyes and sleeps.

He’s at Jensen’s place a few days later, stone cold sober, playing Madden. He’s tense, Jensen’s not. He says, “Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just hard for me to watch you move on, Jensen.” He’s not sure where the words come from but he doesn’t exactly regret them either.

Jensen keeps playing, quiet. Finally he mutters, “I’m not moving on, dick.” It’s more than Jared deserves, and he thinks it hurts even more.

Jared sits in his own apartment later that night, thinking. He hasn’t cried in years, not his own tears, but there’s a sting in his eyes and he shakes his head as if to clear it out. When he feels his cheeks get wet, the tears burn more than Sam’s ever have.

Another week goes by and Jared watches take number seven of Jensen and some extra fooling around on a hotel bed. Every time they laugh and break up the scene, she has to put her shirt back on so Dean can take it right back off. Jared sees spots and paces in Jensen’s trailer later, not saying anything that doesn’t sound like gibberish.

Jensen sits quiet on his couch, hands rubbing his temples and eyes closed. “Jared. Look, man. You’ve gotta stop this.” His voice is barely there but it brings Jared to attention anyway.

Jared stops mid-pace. “Stop what?”

Jensen opens his eyes and Jared’s struck by how tired he looks. “C’mon, Jay. Eventually the jealous ex-boyfriend thing has to end. There’s no way you don’t know that.”

“Boyfriend?” Jared asks dumbly.

Jensen rolls his eyes and stands up. “Whatever, you know what I mean.”

He walks out and Jared’s alone in Jensen’s trailer. “Boyfriend,” he says to himself. The word doesn’t sound so foreign, it doesn’t stumble around like he thought it would.

Something rolls around in Jared’s chest and clicks into place, lock and key. He thinks for a moment.

He flies to L.A. two hours later and breaks off the engagement. He does it face to face because Sandy deserves that. Jared doesn’t even think she surprised. “Tell Jensen I said hi,” she says softly.

*

**5\. Still Feels Good** _ (or I’ve held you I’ve touched you I’ve felt you I’ve loved you)_

Jared’s fucking giddy. They’re on set again: another diner, another booth. Jared can’t stop smiling.

Jensen can’t help but smile back. “What’s with you, man?”

Jared shrugs his shoulders and bumps Jensen’s knees with his own. Jensen seems surprised but he doesn’t say anything. Jared remembers when Jensen told him he had an infectious smile and it just kicks his grin up a notch.

“Dude, you’re fucking beaming. What’s going on?”

Instead of answering him, Jared says, “Want to go with me to my cousin’s wedding next month?”

Jensen just laughs. “Uh. What?”

“My cousin’s getting married. Wanna be my date?” Jared feels restless, the good kind. His legs are bouncing and he can’t keep his hands still.

Jensen stares at him quizzically and laughs again. “You’re so fucking weird, man.”

Jared asks, “Is that a yes?” His voice is quiet.

Jensen’s smile fades. “Are you serious?”

Jared stills. “Yeah.”

Jensen just blinks. “Is Sandy …” He trails off.

Jared shakes his head but keeps his eyes on Jensen. “We, uh. It’s done, man. We just didn’t work out.”

Jensen’s frozen. “You’re serious,” he whispers.

“I am, yeah. So does that mean you’ll go?” Jared’s suddenly freaked out. What if it’s too late? What if Jensen won’t go back? What if Jensen doesn’t want to go back? What if Jensen likes Before better? What if what if what if.

But Jensen just says, “A wedding, Jared? With your family? That’s not exactly trying to hide it.”

Jared leans forward and asks, “Who says I’m trying to hide it?”

Jensen leans forward to meet him. “I say.”

Jared shakes his head. “Well, I’m not.”

Jensen looks at him. “Jared. You don’t have to do this. I don’t need some grand gesture.”

“It’s not a grand gesture, Jen. I want you to come with me. I fucking … I miss you, man.”

“Jared,” he starts but Jared cuts him off.

“I love you, Jen. Come to the fucking wedding. You know I can’t bring Chad.”

Jensen laughs again and this time, Jared sees it in his eyes. “You’re fucking crazy, man.”

“Crazy about you, maybe,” Jared says. He means it to sound like a joke but it doesn’t come off as one and Jared blushes. “I just. I want to be like you, Jen. I want to be the kind of man you are. You’re so fucking …” But he doesn’t know how to finish.

“Awesome?” Jensen supplies.

“Yeah,” Jared whispers. “Awesome fits.” He swallows.

Jensen nods. “Okay.” He pauses and then, “I’ll go.”

Jared beams.

Later, he has Jensen pressed against the wall inside his trailer, sharing inhales and exhales. Jensen breaks from a kiss, breathless and says, “So. Top five reasons Jensen is way more awesome than Jared. Ready go.”

Jared touches their foreheads together and can’t stop smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> Headers stolen from Rascal Flatts.


End file.
